Tuesday 7 August 2018

The great soup disaster of 2018

I should perhaps have taken photographs before they got poured away.

But that would have told you nothing about the smell, the texture, the mouthfeel.

There was the one with all the onions.

Take about 8 medium onions, an entire head of celery, and some chillies. Add some spices and a bit of water. Cook in a big pan for half an hour then blend into soup. I managed to get through about a third of it before it went down the loo. My shit smelled of onions for two days.

The one with all the fibre was the worst though.

Take a load of broad beans, and some runner beans. Add some nice delicate asparagus. Cook and blend. The tough fibrous pods become tough fibrous fibres that are difficult to swallow. After extracting enough of them from my mouth to leave a sizeable pile next to my bowl, I gave up and got a tin of Heinz lentil soup from the cupboard instead. Only 186 calories. Cost less than a quid. Other soups turn out to be equally or almost equally low in calories, so instead of further culinary disasters, I shall be having three tins of soup on my 600 calorie days.

driving lessons in North Wirral? learn to drive in Hoylake? driving instructor in Birkenhead?

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