Friday, 5 February 2016

Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble...


I got a text, and then a phone call from one of my trainees this evening.

He'd met my inept now ex-trainee in a local supermarket and inept ex-trainee was at pains to try to dissuade him from taking his training any further with me. Further, he believes I am not qualified to be an instructor trainer as I am not ORDIT registered. Finally, he has submitted a freedom of information request for information on me.

So without actually putting a name here, which could lead an internet search to this page, here are a couple of links.

The first, a link to a video.

Second, an online news article from a couple of years back.

This is the guy I spent a year trying to turn into an instructor.

The opening parapgraph, the video, and the news item all have a common thread.

None of this is his fault.

It was my cack-handed training regime that caused him to fail his teaching test, not in any way because he's utterly fucking useless at it. It was Simon Cowell's hatred of electronic keyboards that caused him to press the buzzer, not because he's utterly fucking useless at it. And the neighbours were just jealous of his celebrity, and has no justification for feeling annoyed at him playing his keyboard at any time of the day or night. (and presumably being totally fucking useless at that too.)

He's got a website, and is offering driving lessons at a ridiculously low price. £200 for 20 hours. You can find it easily enough, and I don't want to put a backlink to this blog.

Well if that's what you need to do to get the work, fair enough. I wouldn't work for that. After taking off overheads, he's probably getting less than minimum wage, but I suppose, after shelling out a couple of hundred quid, you would tend to stick with the guy. And so he gets to do what he wants to do.

He claims on his site to be a fully qualified instructor, which he isn't. He also claims to offer pass plus courses. Only fully qualified instructors can register to teach the pass plus. What will he do if he actually gets one? What forms will he use? When he sends them off to the pass plus unit with his instructor number on them, what will they make of them?

What am I going to do about this?

Well, nothing. I don't want to escalate a conflict with a mentally ill, obsessive fool.

I don't have to be ORDIT registered to be an instructor trainer. I'd just get a bit more work if I was, and I'd have to provide premises, and fulfil a number of other conditions that would constrain me in ways that I prefer not to incur.

I haven't got a clue what a freedom of information search could possibly reveal about me. I did once hit a toddler over the head with a trowel when I was 6. He was spoiling my game, and I got a red mist.

But if he does continue in his obsession to bring me down, I have some ammunition I can fire.

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Thursday, 28 January 2016

Adam and Eve.

Small pointless observation:

Most male names seem to end in consonants.

Most female names seem to end in vowels.

At least in the Western cultural linguistic tradition. Indeed a masculine name can be feminised by adding a vowel. Paul > Paula, Brendan > Brenda, Peter > Petra, Patrick > Patricia, Fred > Freda, etc.

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Wednesday, 13 January 2016

Cygnet committee

David Bowie was born in 1947. In 1969, he was 22 years old, and writing music and lyrics of startling perceptiveness and maturity.

I never did get into everything David Bowie did. That's always going to be the way when he morphs constantly from one thing to the next. I remember seeing an interview with him where he told the interviewer that he'd go so far with something, then just get bored and move on.That's something I can relate to.  I felt his last couple of offerings were remarkable.

I could never have had the intelligence or maturity to write the lyrics of Cynet Committee when I was 22. I hope that I somehow have the resilience and energy to do something different when I reach my final years.

RIP David Bowie. You were fucking awesome, even when you weren't.

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Thursday, 31 December 2015