Friday, 7 September 2012

The Secret of my success.

The name's Sharp.

Paul Sharp.

Shaken but not stirred. Licensed to give professional driving tuition.

So let's suppose you're a struggling science fiction author. A much maligned profession, but driven by some obscure inner compulsion, you've taken up the pen.

Your goal? To write into existance an upstanding protagonist.  Faster than a speeding bullet! Able to jump taqll building in a single bound. Yet gentle. Loves family and freedom and the American Way.

Well you need to take this simple fact into account.

Short names are cooler than polysyllabic ones.

See what I did there? The "Short Names" bit is honest, straightforward, trustworthy, concise. The "polysyllabic" is exclusive, geeky, jargon.

So don't call your cool protagonist "Engelbert Humperdinck" or "Alexander Hergensheimer" or "Margaret Thatcher"

Call him or her something snappy, like "Zip Wham!" or "Steve Grok"! or similar.

Still don't believe me? I bet you know someone who's name is David or Victoria or Andrew or Karen.

And  if you do, I bet you normally refer to them in the diminutive, Dave, Vicky, And, Kaz.

 So if you want to be cool, I recommend that you change your long names into short.

Sadly of course, there are always exceptions that prove the rule. While George Bush is undoubtedly the epitome of cool, Kate Bush is of course anything but.

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