Off down the rat and parrot.

Not really. I'm not a social drinker. But tonight is my monthly get drunk night. I've been sort of looking forward to it.

I have purchased some quality real ales from my local supermarket. When you're not doing it that often, you can justify buying dearer stuff. So I have purchased:

1. 500ml of  Jennings (The brewery that makes SneckLifter) Cocker Hoop (4.2% abv, 2.1 units), 
2. 500ml of Marston's OysterStout (4.5% abv, 2.3 units) I don't think it contains oysters.
3. 500ml of Shepherd Neame Late Red (4.5% abv, 2.2 units)
4. 500ml of Greene King Suffolk Springer (6%abv, 3 units)
5. 500ml of Wychwood King Goblin (6.6% abv. 3.3 units)

It ramps up. From the weakest to the strongest. The last, strongest half litre has traditionally been an insurance, to make sure I passed out, either in my computer chair or in bed.

driving lessons in Wallasey?

And here I am now. All 15 units supped. I don't feel anything really. Electroencephalography.  supercalafrajelisticexpialodocious. Antidisestablishmentarianism.

And then it was 7 in the morning. I was waking up in bed. And my mouth was like the bottom of a budgie cage...