Saturday, 16 July 2011

Try Try Try

My mis-spent youth is catching up with me. All those times where I filled my lungs to the max with whatever shit I could lay my hands on may have left their mark.

Certainly, there are times these days when I'm breathless, even if I'm not doing anything more strenuous than breathing.

Particularly when I'm tired, it sometimes feels like I just can't get enough air into my lungs, no matter how deeply I try to breathe.

This is both unpleasant and frightening. Time, I reckon, to attempt to give up again. I only smoked about 5 rollies today, before running out. I've not had one for quite a few hours, and there is none to be had without visiting a 24 hour garage. It's 2.35 in the morning, and I'm up at 10.00. So the sensible thing to do is go to bed.

That means I have a headstart.When I wake up I shall endeavour not to buy tobacco.

Update: 11.30pm

Well so far so good. Stuffed full of junk food, but didn't succumb to the desire.

Update: 6.30pm

Really really fucking angsty. Just everything. Money. Cowardly pupils. Boredom. Ennui. Fucking Life in  Fucking General. I really want to get drunk, but then I'll smoke.

Fucking fuck the fucking fuckers sideways.

No comments: