I keep getting phonecalls telling me I have a virus.Sometimes several times a day. I have no way of stopping them, but I can manipulate them.
At first I'd shout at them, or ask them what my IP address is, but that got boring, so now when they call, I try to keep them on the phone for as long as possible. It stops that particular scammer phoning some other poor vulnerable naive person.
Hello? Is that Mr S?
Mr S.. My name is Steve (with a strong Asian accent) and I'm caling from the nicrosoft operating system department. You have a lot of viruses on your computer.
Oh no!!! Which one? The downstairs computer or the upstairs computer?
It doesn't matter. You need to turn your computer on...
At this point, I leave them for a minute or two.
Hi. Are you still there Steve?
Yes. I'm still here. Is your computer on?
Sort of. It's quite an old system. I'll go and check if it's up and running yet.
Hi. Yes. It's up and running now. I have linux. It'x not a windowns system. Does that matter?
... Pause. Voices in background as "steve" asks supervisor if he can still scam me when I have linux...
Hi. Yes. Is your computer on?
Yes. It's on.
OK. You need to open up a google window.
I don't think I have a google. I do have a mouse. Is that OK?
No sir, you need to go onto the internet and type in google.
Sorry. I can't get onto the internet right now because I'm on the phone. We don't have broadband here. I'm on dial up. Can you call me back on my mobile phone? Or do you have a number I could call you on?
OK. What is your mobile number?
07random number. I shall log into the internet. Speak to you in a minute. Thank you. Bye.
My record so far is about 12 minutes. I wonder if I can keep one of these poor buggers on the phone for 20 minutes? Who knows? As I refine my technique I may be able to put one out of action for a full half hour, bedore I tell them to call back later since I'm now late for work.