Friday, 6 May 2011

Wasting time

I keep getting phonecalls telling me I have a virus.Sometimes several times a day. I have no way of stopping them, but I can manipulate them.

At first I'd shout at them, or ask them what my IP address is, but that got boring, so now when they call, I try to keep them on the phone for as long as possible. It stops that particular scammer phoning some other poor vulnerable naive person.


Hello? Is that Mr S?

Yes. Hi,

Mr S.. My name is Steve (with a strong Asian accent) and I'm caling from the nicrosoft operating system department. You have a lot of viruses on your computer.

Oh no!!! Which one? The downstairs computer or the upstairs computer?

It doesn't matter. You need to turn your computer on...


At this point, I leave them for a minute or two.

Hi. Are you still there Steve?

Yes. I'm still here. Is your computer on?

Sort of. It's quite an old system. I'll go and check if it's up and running yet.

Long pause...

Hi. Yes. It's up and running now. I have linux. It'x not a windowns system. Does that matter?

... Pause. Voices in background as "steve" asks supervisor if he can still scam me when I have linux...

Hi. Yes. Is your computer on?

Yes. It's on.

OK. You need to open up a google window.

I don't think I have a google. I do have a mouse. Is that OK?

No sir, you need to go onto the internet and type in google.



Sorry. I can't get onto the internet right now because I'm on the phone. We don't have broadband here. I'm on dial up. Can you call me back on my mobile phone? Or do you have a number I could call you on?

OK. What is your mobile number?

07random number. I shall log into the internet. Speak to you in a minute. Thank you. Bye.

My record so far is about 12 minutes. I wonder if I can keep one of these poor buggers on the phone for 20 minutes? Who knows? As I refine my technique I may be able to put one out of action for a full half hour, bedore I tell them to call back later since I'm now late for work.


Pete said...

Excellent. Go for the half hour. You are indeed wasting your own time too but you know that already. How does the scam work any way?

Paul said...

They try to get you to visit a website. Presumably that site installs nasty things on your computer so that they can then steal passwords or turn it into a spam factory or whatever.

Pete said...

In the last 2 weeks, I have received 3 calls from Filipinos, I think there have been a lot more. They often refer to the fact that I appear on the share register for BP. I do indeed own BP shares. Their first gambit is to get me to confirm that I do indeed own BP shares. "I would rather not say," would be a fairly standard reply from me to cold callers. Any way, this time I tried, "How can I help you?" to which there was never a satisfactory answer. I assume he was going to try and sell me some bogus investment. Any way, realising he was not going to get far with such a savvy guy as me, he took to insulting me, calling me a parrot! Bastard!