Saturday, 20 February 2010

Blogger is very slow for me right now.

Sometimes the connection times out. Sometimes I can come back to a page I've initiated after a few minutes to find it's sorted itself out. Like now, when I've clicked "sign in" and "new post".

Trouble is, I've forgotten what I wanted to say.

Most of my site traffic is still looking for triple breasted women, although a few people have popped in to look at my picture of the middle of the atlantic ocean.

Welcome! If you were looking for wanking material, sorry to disappoint you. How anyone could get off on a picture of an empty ocean is beyond me, but whatever floats your boat...

Did you like that? It's a pun, you see.


Floats your boat.

Ah well, never mind.

I'm wondering if I can add alt tags to my pictures. On my desktop computer, sitting unused and unloved upstairs, I have dreamweaver, and could easily do a post and copy/paste the code over into blogger. But the laptop is so much more convenient, and stops me skulking in my little cave.

I could vastly increase the number of hits my site gets if I alt tagged all my pictures with naughty words.

So let's try it. (waits for 5 minutes for upload image page to display something useful...)

(still waiting...)

nicholas winterton's willy

Aha! The Alt tag is already embedded into the code, but as a null string ("")

So all I should have to do is put whatever obscene perversion I like between the quotes. So here goes. If this works, right clicking your mouse over the picture of the window of a derelict cottage and selecting "properties" should bring up a the words "nicholas winterton's willy"

If you do a google image search for this term in a week or two, you might well find the picture above.

Please note: I am in no way trying to imply that Nicholas Winterton's willy looks anything like the window of a derelict cottage. It was just the first expletive that popped into my head.

1 comment:

Brenda Sharp said...

Yes, Blogger is being a pain I haven't even been able to access it in the last couple of days. I am so sad, I tried the alt tag thing (and yes it works).

As for skulking in your cave, have you not read 'Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus'? (prob not you are a man). On the basis of the sacred writings I predict a return to your cave any time soon - most likely to coincide with the warmer weather and the allure of your comfy leather recliner.